Hello, out there.....I know I started this blog a while back and never updated it. I think it might be a good idea to try it out again. So here goes...
I have been sick with a VERY bad cold for the last week. I missed 2 days of school last week and ended up missing my clinicals yesterday. Well, I am feeling better, I went to clinicals today and this is what happened.
I got up and went to the hospital, checked in and was assigned to Samantha and Buffy (my preceptors). We went up to the 3rd floor and got started on morning rounds. I did my assessment on a lady who coughed so much that I couldn't count her respirations because when she wasn't coughing, she was holding her breath to try and keep from coughing. I gave her a nebulizer treatment, did a post assessment and headed down the hall to my next patient.
My next patient was a nice old man. He had old navy tattoos and it made me think of my granddaddy. He told me it was nice to meet me, but he was ready to meet some food because he was hungry! lol I did his assessment and gave him his nebulizer treatment. While I was getting his treatment ready, he told me not to get into his stash because he would need some of his muchies if they didn't bring breakfast soon! He was watching the news and there was a story about a girl killing her boyfriend. The old man shook is head and then told me that when he was in Turkey, if you committed a crime like that, they marched you out in the street and just "Kablwow" they shot you right there! He said he ducked and run the first time he saw it because he wasn't sure what was going on! I just said "Oh, my!" He says we should do the same here and we wouldn't have so much crime. I think he is a wise old man! Anyway, he finished his treatment and I did his post assessment. I told him to hold tight and breakfast would be there soon!
While I was waiting for Samantha and Buffy to finish with thier last patient, a CODE BLUE was called to the ER with an ETA of 5 minutes. They finished quickly and we headed downstairs to the ER to get ready. My classmate, Tucker, was already there and several other respiratory therapist. One of the mangers told Samantha and Buffy that they had enough RTs but to let me stay so that I could observe with Tucker since we are students. We are CPR certified and can help, but I thought today we were just watching. We were told that they weren't sure all the details yet of the patient but that they probably wouldn't make it from what they did know. Tucker and I stood in the corner and waited. There was suddenly a lot of commotion and they were wheeling in the patient. When you are a student like me and new to the CODE, your hearts starts beating fast and you sort of panic a lil but you are ready to jump into the action. They bring in a large man and all I could see was the top of his hair. I had a funny feeling that I recognized that hair. When the move had been made and he was on our ER bed and the EMT moved out of the way, I realized I knew exactly who it was! My uncle Garland. I told Tucker and he asked if I was ok and said yes. I was kind of horrified and ok at the same time. I don't know how to explain that. The doctor told us to get ready and we were gonna get into the rotation of compressions. He pointed at Tucker and said "Jump in!" and Tucker jumped up on that stool and gave it all he had. The doctor told me to get ready and when he gave the word, I jumped in and gave it all I had. There were nurses doing all kinds of things. As chaotic as it is, it is actually a smooth process. Everyone knows what to do and when and it works like a well oiled machine. When my turn was up, the doctor did compressions, and then another male nurse and then it was Tuckers turn again. The doctor told me to watch the clock and when the second hand got to the 6, tap Tucker and jump in. That is what I did, I jumped up on that stool and gave it all I had until I was told to stop. I was the last of the rotation. I was the last one to do compressions on my uncle before time was called. There was a last effort to find ANY cardiac activity with the ultrasound. It was done. Time was called at 8:06am. I stood there. I listened as the doctor and the RTs told us a few things, more general than pertaining to him, about some of the equipment. It was almost like it wasn't him laying there. The lead RT told us it was time to go back to the dept and meet back with our assigned preceptors. I asked if I could be excused for a moment and when she asked if I was ok, all I could say was "That's my uncle." . Then the tears came.
She asked me why I didn't tell them. She told me that I could have just said I didn't want to do it. I can't really tell you why I didn't tell her or one of the nurses. I told Tucker. I could have as easily just said it out loud and been excused. I guess with the adrenaline pumping and everyone already jumping into action by the time I could see him, I just wasn't sure of what to do other than my job. The lead RT told me I was free to go. She signed my paperwork and gave me credit for the day and offered to drive me home which I declined. I drove myself home, crying, with the sleeves of my lab coat covered in ultrasound jelly.
I cried for a while, I called my momma and my daddy and I cried to them. I came home and just sat here a while. I needed to process this. I know that I did not kill him. I know that his death was in Gods timing and not ours. I did not cry because I couldn't save him. I believe that he was gone before he got to us and we all put in our best efforts as did the EMTs. I cried because my uncle who has lived next door forever, riding his 4-wheeler on patrol of the neighborhood is gone.
Tucker told me that the RTs were very impressed with how I handled everything through the CODE. That I did a good job and that they had no idea of any problems until it was over and I told them. We were told to make a good impression at clinicals....this was not how I planned to impress them.
My instructor, Mr King, called to check on me and told me how proud he was of me for jumping in and taking care of business under those circumstances. He said he would not have faulted me at all if I had of spoken up and excused myself. He asked me to talk to the class about it and I told him that was fine. I don't mind telling them about it. I hope they don't have to go through it, but we all have to face the reality that it could happen, especially if we work in our hometowns where all of our family and friends live, work and play.
This was not how I had pictured my day. I thought it would be just another day of doing assessments and nebulizer treatments.
Rest in Peace, Uncle Garland! Love you!
No comments:
Post a Comment