Well, my husband and I are officially separated. We signed our separation papers yesterday and I filed them at the courthouse today. I don't really know what else to say about that. I do love him and care about him, but it is not the same as it used to be.I am not IN LOVE with him anymore. We can't seem to get along any more. Neither of us are happy and I decided that we should just end it. We have been working on it for about 2 yrs now and it has not gotten any better. I have things I need to work on in my own heart and head and so does he. It is not easy at all. There is a lot of adjusting to do for us both. He has moved in with his sister and her family and i am all alone trying to pay the bills with my meager unemployment check and go to school. We will both be ok.
On a bit of a more positive note, I went to the school advised them of my situation and gave them a copy of our separation papers. My fiancial aid forms were revised and I will now receive a full federal pell grant. Otherwise, I would no longer be able to attend school. I will now start my Respiratory Therapy classes on August 23. I am scared to death!
I've got studying to do.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Bad Day
Today, I am not having a good day. I an sad, mad, frustrated, confused, just plain restless and irritable. There are just a lot of things going on in my life right now, some good, some bad. Here are a few that are worrying me ....
1. Fianacial aid was denied for school on first attempt. I have had my forms revised and have no idea if I will get any financial aid. If not, I have to get a student loan. I may just be stupid, but I have no idea how to even go about getting a student loan. Fianacial aid advisors says she will help, but I have my doubts as she was not very eager to help me revise my forms.
2. If I find the money, I start my respiratory therapy classes on August 23. I am scared to death!
3. My husband and I can't seem to get along for very long at all. I have no idea what is going to happen at this point. Neither of us is very happy at this moment, but we have been here before. Just trying to figure it out.
On days like this, I think. A lot. I think about things that are probably a bit nonsensical to everyone else.
Today i thought of some sayings and truthes......
1. "It has to get worse before it can get better" - What does this mean? What if you can't handle the worse to make it to the better? Why does it have to get worse? Why can't it just get better?
2. There is this inevitable truth that people get better before they die. So what does the previous saying mean to someone who is terminally ill? Many very sick people take a turn for the better (giving false hope to many) before they die. If it has to get worse before it gets better, why do they want to endure the worse just for death to follow the better? I also wonder if these people know that when they take this turn for the better that they will die soon?
3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" .... well this is only gonna work if life decides to NOT leave you so broke you cant buy sugar. I guess life could give you some bees to go with your lemons, but you would probably die from bee stings before the bees even make the honey to sweeten the lemonade. This saying doesnt really make any sense at all.
ANYWAY....I am going to say good night for now. I am tired and probably just need to go to bed.
Maybe tomorrow will be better and I can post something a lil less negative.
1. Fianacial aid was denied for school on first attempt. I have had my forms revised and have no idea if I will get any financial aid. If not, I have to get a student loan. I may just be stupid, but I have no idea how to even go about getting a student loan. Fianacial aid advisors says she will help, but I have my doubts as she was not very eager to help me revise my forms.
2. If I find the money, I start my respiratory therapy classes on August 23. I am scared to death!
3. My husband and I can't seem to get along for very long at all. I have no idea what is going to happen at this point. Neither of us is very happy at this moment, but we have been here before. Just trying to figure it out.
On days like this, I think. A lot. I think about things that are probably a bit nonsensical to everyone else.
Today i thought of some sayings and truthes......
1. "It has to get worse before it can get better" - What does this mean? What if you can't handle the worse to make it to the better? Why does it have to get worse? Why can't it just get better?
2. There is this inevitable truth that people get better before they die. So what does the previous saying mean to someone who is terminally ill? Many very sick people take a turn for the better (giving false hope to many) before they die. If it has to get worse before it gets better, why do they want to endure the worse just for death to follow the better? I also wonder if these people know that when they take this turn for the better that they will die soon?
3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" .... well this is only gonna work if life decides to NOT leave you so broke you cant buy sugar. I guess life could give you some bees to go with your lemons, but you would probably die from bee stings before the bees even make the honey to sweeten the lemonade. This saying doesnt really make any sense at all.
ANYWAY....I am going to say good night for now. I am tired and probably just need to go to bed.
Maybe tomorrow will be better and I can post something a lil less negative.
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